Masturbation is a natural act, yet many people still feel awkward or embarrassed about it. Why does this topic make so many of us uncomfortable? The past can offer some answers.
Throughout history, views on self-pleasure have varied. The Egyptians saw masturbation as sacred, while the Greeks viewed it as natural but not something to celebrate. The Romans considered it inferior to sex with a partner.
In medieval Europe, masturbation was labeled as sinful and harmful. However, 20th-century scholars, including sexologists Alfred Kinsey and Shere Hite, challenged these negative perceptions and helped normalize masturbation.
Despite these advancements, the stigma surrounding masturbation remains. Attitudes that it’s dirty, shameful, or even harmful are often shaped by conflicting messages from societal norms, religious doctrines, and inadequate sex education.
Masturbation remains taboo—some people consider it unnatural because it has no reproductive purpose. This negative belief can harm health, especially if it leads to psychological distress, such as feelings of guilt and shame rooted in ingrained condemnation.
However, through my experience as a sex therapist and psychology researcher, I’ve found that discussing masturbation openly with clients has been immensely beneficial for their mental health. The more we talk about it, the easier it becomes to address and release those shame-filled thoughts. The key is creating a safe, non-judgmental space that fosters self-acceptance and understanding of what truly excites us.
Masturbation can be surprisingly educational when it comes to appreciating your body. It’s not just about pleasure—it’s about self-discovery and understanding your sexual response and anatomy, accepting that vulvas and penises come in all shapes and sizes.
Masturbation offers a safe, judgment-free way to explore and understand your body without risk of pregnancy or STIs. It allows you to discover what feels good and what doesn’t—essentially mapping your pleasure zones. It’s also a great opportunity to experiment with sex toys.
Connecting with your body, including your genitalia, helps you feel more at ease in your own skin and boosts confidence. Understanding what works for you is truly liberating.
Additionally, masturbation makes it easier to communicate your needs and desires to others. By empowering yourself, you gain control over your sexual experiences and fully embrace ownership of your body.
In sex therapy, masturbation often serves as a therapeutic tool. For example, clients may engage in masturbation exercises.
This could include using mindfulness techniques to focus on sensations, helping them reconnect with their bodies and better understand what leads to pleasure. Solo sex promotes body awareness, which can be especially helpful for those experiencing orgasm difficulties.
The stop-start technique is another method in sex therapy to help with issues like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. It helps individuals gain control, especially over orgasm and erection management, by focusing on touch sensations and building awareness of sexual responses.
With masturbation, there’s no need to worry about anyone else’s expectations or pressure about sexual performance. It’s a positive, safe way to explore your body without feeling rushed or self-conscious.
Masturbation also brings other health benefits. For some, it can reduce stress and promote sleep. During masturbation and orgasm, hormones like oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and endorphins are released, which enhance mood and relaxation.
Research has even shown that men who ejaculate 21 or more times a month have a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer.
How much is too much?
As a sex and relationship therapist, I often get asked: “How much masturbation is too much?” There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Masturbation can be a healthy way to seek pleasure and cope with emotions like stress. However, if it becomes the primary or only means of emotional regulation, it could start to feel compulsive.
When masturbation leads to loss of control, emotional distress, or negative impacts on daily life, it may become an issue. In these cases, sexual compulsivity often attempts to address unmet needs, whether sexual, emotional, or relational.
Psychosexual therapy is an effective, sex-positive approach that helps clients develop a wider range of strategies for managing emotions, beyond just masturbation.
As we move toward a more inclusive understanding of sexuality, self-pleasure may one day be seen not as something to feel guilty or ashamed of, but as a natural form of self-expression. Until then, it remains a powerful act of self-love.
